Oral Skills
Gabrielle: "If it's a choice between a man who gives flowers and a man who enjoys giving oral, most women would take the oral. And it's free. Oral sex is recession-proof."
Women will dish whether you're awesome or awful. But at least try. "There's nothing more disappointing than a man who doesn't try or is just clueless," says Katy, 28. "If he's great, I'm thrilled and want to spill to my friends. If he was terrible, I want someone to sympathize."
Win her approval: Be eager. "It makes a big difference if you're showing authentic enthusiasm. Women read that," says Gardos. Michelle, 25, told us that she and her friends compare notes on "how involved he was" during oral sex. Too many men focus only on intercourse, Gardos says. But a 2006 Australian study found that far more women are able to reach orgasm with oral sex than through intercourse alone.
Control
Gabrielle: "If both people can climax quickly, sex doesn't need to go on for 2 hours -- at some point, Law & Order is coming on! But it's terrible if a man is 2 minutes and you're nowhere close."
Breathe easy, men: If you don't last long, women are generally forgiving -- provided you make up for it. "Only if things ended immediately afterward would I ever say he didn't last very long," says Victoria, 28. "If he's a one-pump and done, it does get talked about," admits Janna, 23, "but if he makes up for it later that night or in the morning, I'll have only good things to say." And again, personality matters: "If we like him, we make excuses for him," says Paula, 20. "If we don't like him, we make fun of him. Harsh, but true."
Win her approval: If you climax quickly, resist the panicked urge to explain. (We see through the classic, "This never happens to me, I swear.") "Instead, make it about how sexy she is and how much she's turned you on, not about how you aren't in control," says Herbenick. Then make sure she gets her turn.
WHOA! No wonder Dwayne Wade left his wife.... just kidding!
